Sunday, June 28, 2009

Hey Dave, how'dya spend your weekend?

Like this:

Assuming no other material misstatements are found, an independent auditor determines that supplementary information is not fairly stated relative to the basic financial statements taken as a whole. In this instance, the independent auditor should:

a)Issue a qualified or adverse opinion
b)Issue a disclaimer of opinion
c)Issue an unqualified but modified audit report, adding a paragraph to describe the auditor's position on the supplementary information

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

That was not smart...thaat was not smart.

Tuesday: Nausea on the light rail. Everything inside my body wanted to be on the outside. Stomach involuntarily emptied. Sprite for dinner.

Wednesday: Sprite and a piece of toast for breakfast. Sprite for lunch.

And six...I started to get hungry.

So I ordered Papa Johns (used my free coupon.)

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Two thumbs. Up.

I'm serious about Up. It's one of the best movies I can remember seeing in the theater.

Don't take my word for it.

Read this and this.

Get Up Off of That Thang

Disney/Pixar has done it again.

Go see UP. You won't regret it.

(review to come. Maybe)

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Welcome to Heber City

It's been a few years since I've lived in Heber City, but the town still has a place in my heart.

It's a fact. Heber has grown. Despite the number of second homes and resort sites springing up to attract vacationers, many new developments have brought people who actually plan on staying in the valley for longer than a round of golf. To these newcomers, propriety dictates a hearty Heber how-ye-do.

But let’s not kid ourselves in pretending that a quick handshake is welcome enough to the new folks. Why settle for mediocrity? Read on to discover seven creative ways to welcome the new guy to Heber City, Utah.

1) Bring over a calculator and coolly report their portion of the bond amount for the new high school. $60 million divided by…

2) Casually mention that the high school’s wrestling program is perennial state champions. Drop names (Cael Sanderson…) if you need be. Put ‘em in a headlock and demonstrate the “Dear Creek In the Neck” hold.

3) Invite them to volunteer for Swiss Days. Be positive. Tell him that his daughter is a shoo-in for the Swiss Miss pageant. If that doesn’t work, explain that non-participation is an (Edel) vice that will not be tolerated. Leave with a refreshing joke, like “see you later, hosen." Har!

4) Misdirect him in his search for tickets to the demolition derby. Let’s be honest, some things just can’t be shared.

6) Be prepared to explain that, regardless of whether the view of Mt. Timpanogas is the back or the front, it is the superior.

7) Did I skip #5?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Heaps and heaps...

Is everybody as excited about this as I am??

Get 'er done Cougs!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

why DOES the caged bird sing?

Sometimes, when I'm in my cubicle doing work papers
(note: workpapers are folders and folders, files and files, of shoot-me-now tediousness)

hour after hour

I think of this

A Shakespeare Question

Who is more evil, Edmund of King Lear or Iago of Othello?

It's gotta be Iago, right?

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Papa Delivers

In the mail this week.

Papa John's thanked me for my comments and offered to give me another chance on their pizza. They included two complimentary pizza cards to prime the pump for my return to PJ's.

I also received a personal phone call apology. Brian (not Papa John--he's probably busy making commercials) even admitted that their pan pizza wasn't quite up to par and a new recipe was in the works.

I quote Papa's letter.

"Rest assured, Papa John's is dedicated to providing you with a Worldclass Customer Experience."

I've been waiting for this release from the emotional shackles of my innerconsumer. I'm still not sure why "worldclass customer experience" is a proper noun, but I can dream of the wonders such a thing could hold.

And so, tonight, I can finally rest. Assured.