If I had a million minutes...

I think I might try to write a few books. Not because I think I could write them well (I don't have the raw talent for that, which is why I work in the business world), but because I think it would be fun.

The first few books I would write:

From Deacon to Dating: A Guide for LDS Teenagers. I would write this in a style much different than, say, a John Bytheway book. There'd be a lot of lists. Practical pointers. Tips. I think the style would be like a modern men's magazine (not a dirty men's magazine, but something like Esquire, GQ or ESPN:The Magazine).

A satire of LDS romantic fiction/anything that Stephanie Meyer writes. Self-explanatory. Have you read that stuff? Someone needs to respond.

I've Been Everywhere, Man A book about truck drivers. There's gotta be some cool stories floating out there. Heck, I could even write a memoir. Quit my job as an accountant and drive truck for a year across the country. Learn Trucker Talk. Freight turnips and trusses and plastic combs across the continent. If at all possible, the book would have a foreword by C.W. McCall (unless he's dead).

Brothers don't shake, brothers gotta...

Crazy.

NY Senkyoshi

I loved this. Watch it.

9/9/09

I coulda sworn that I joked with a friend of mine of the fairer sex back in the day that we would get married on

9/9/09.

Or was it 8/8/08? Maybe 7/7/2007?

Huh. Well. Whoops. Missed that hay ride.

Here's to the auspicious 10/10/10, 11/11/11, or 12/12/12.

Pro's Ranch Market

At the advice of my aunt, I stopped by Pro's Ranch Markets, a big-box Mexican grocery store on Southern and Stapley.

If you go on a Saturday, be prepared for pandemonium. Key limes, 99 cents for four pounds? Beans selling in giant bins by the truckload? Tortilla machines operating with six-sigma efficiency? Puts Food City to south-of-the-border shame.

When I saw massive barbecue racks smoke firing chicken outside, I knew had I found my new favorite food store. My hypothesis was only confirmed when I encountered a pastry aisle, tropical fruit drink bar, and "deli" that really should be classified as its own Mexican restaurant. And that was just one third of the floor space!

I might have been the only white guy in the building. I bought a bag of beans, some garlic, peppers, and freshly made tortillas. I think I also bought a grapefruit soda called something in Spanish that I can't now, even one day later, remember.

And I might have even made a friend. As I was eating in the crowded food court (ahh the Pro Ranch cooked food! My new favorite Mexican restaurant--in a grocery store!), an older man with a Nacho Libre mustache noticed me devouring a smoke-grilled chicken burrito a little too quickly. He saw that I didn't have any napkins, and so he grabbed a few out of his bale-sized stack and handed them over towards my plate. I don't think he spoke English, and I can't speak a lick of Spanish, but we shared a moment of instant understanding--good food like this, on a crazy, crowded day like today, needs a coupla napkins.

Have someone in coach fiddle for me...

I know I'm a few years late, but I love this article.

Yeah, but...it'll costya...

Some say learning cost accounting is like riding a bike--after you first figure it out, the concepts come naturally the second time.

I say cost accounting is like riding a grizzly bear. If in fact it doesn't kill you the first time, you by heck don't want to get on for another round. What are you, stupid??

But that's just me.